runoffs conspiracy theory

[Scott Gesford]

Can anyone verify the whereabouts of one Mike Rand and/or Bob Wright on Friday Oct 13, 2006? My exhaustive research has found that the "F2000 Pro Series" jet had a flight plan filed for a 6:07 am flight to .......Topeka KS. At the same time, a local farmer near the series headquarters reported the abduction of two goats, 4 rolls of bailer twine, and two tubs of axle grease?? Sources at the HPT report seeing the series rig parked outside the gates to the track poorly disquised as a mobile DUI processing center. Rumors abound about the capabilities of this trailer and the equipment therein. God knows, no one has ever seen the inside of it at a pro event. Speculation is that it is possible that communication lines could be blocked electronically therefore making the calls to the grid over the loudspeakers to go unheard. The technology exists to reset the time on the SCCA computers, moving up the start time. Another possibility is that Holy Topeka was a plant, cleverly inserted into this country decades ago just for this mission to spread misinformation and withhold important data. Also speculated is the ability to create supps on the fly to cover any transgressions that occur with a direct T1 line to Dave Gomberg's computer.
Why would the series stoop to this level you may ask? Entries,Entry fees damn it. They'll do anything to steal drivers from nationals. Got a Zetec, Pinto, old reynard, super vee, or thunder roadster. You can race with them. They intend to take over the racing world and will stop at nothing and sink to any level to accomplish their mission. They need to be stopped. They are dangerous. They are sick, despicable people.
I called their headquarters 4 minutes ago and threatened to go public with this and gave them an opportunity to refute this. They have not returned my call so I am releasing this story. Thank you and good day.
PS. I have just received a fax from a lawyer retained by the series. It contains a letter from Mike Rand's proctologist confirming that he is allergic to goats.



Instead of screaming about the situation, I wrote this. I hate what happened to Chas, Tim, Rick, etc. Plus, any chance I have to bust Rand's balls, I'll take.

[John LaRue]

Scott,

In that I have never met you in person and I do not know what you do for a living (if anything!) I can only surmise that you missed your true calling in life. Great post.

[KevinFirlein]

whatever scott does in real life it is clear he will be looking for a new job when his boss finds out he spends all his time on the internet. Luckily his future dismissal wont be for naught since i got a damn good laugh out of his post.

Now if he can only get Niki, Cole , and Justin and the others to come race with us in the pro series.

[Michael Rand]

OK Gesford, the [rubber] gloves are off.
Just remember, YOU STARTED IT !!!!!

Now, consider them busted and bruised, but not broken.

So exactly what are you going to race in 2007 ? I sure hope it is the F2000 Hankook series, I am pretty sure you know why.
Hey John, I need an internet attorney, available ?Interested ?

You have obviously been influenced by the R-Sport "gang", the Pburg Punks.

Let the insults begin.

[Douglas Kniffin]

I'm sure I saw Mike around the back of the series trailer having a very "intimate" conversation with a goat so I'm not buying the whole alergy thing. I think the proctologist is in on the conspiracy.

[mark defer]

i feel sorry for the goats.

mark d

[Michael Rand]

Great start, Kniffin and Defer talking about goaty intimacies, proctologists, conspiracies, jeez, can't wait to see where this all winds up........
I gotta order a box of xl surgical gloves.

[Dano]

i feel sorry for the goats.

Awe... don't feel too bad... rumour has it 4 out of 5 didn't even notice.

[Scott Gesford]

Kevin. As someone who is employed by the only person that would hire you, yourself, I find it funny that you should question my work habits. I'm entering my 21st year as a esteemed member of the IT community providing quality computer service aw screw it, I'm going to training next week and thinks are slow so I've been on the web.
John. Thanks for your kind remarks. I'm not sure about true calling but I do hear voices, does that count? I'm not surprised we never met. Rsport keeps me chained to the car performing 18 hours of prep work for each 5 minutes on the track.
I'll probably regret promoting the virtues of the series as I fear next year my ability to finish in the pay spots my be diminished compared to this year. Guess I'll plan on fighting for the GTP 15th place "glory hole" position. Maybe I can be considered for the pink hat of shame.
Not that the series needs any help promoting itself. Just go out to their web site and it will explain everything.

[Michael Rand]

But the 5th was a killer looker.....and was the only one awake !

[Michael Rand]

The site is so working, it is F2000championshipseries.com, but there isn't any new information on it. We know it sucks, but it will be better for 2007. Robert promises......

Gesford, maybe Rieffle chaining you up has impact on your need for "training" ?

[Michael Rand]

The question you need to answer, Scott, is exactly which voice in your head do you pay attention to ?
Perhaps give a different one a chance to be heard.....or are they fighting ? Again ?
Scott might have spent a few to many years frying his ears in a WoO sprintcar.
Guess that's why he keeps lobbying us in the F2000 series for something called Rat Motors and solid axles and 4 different springs/4 different shocks being required by the rules.....just cause that's how he sets up his car.

[Chas Shaffer]

Dude that's freakin hilarious.

After your IT job gets outsourced to India for $10/day you can become a satirical writer for Formula Car mag.

[Lee Racing 8]

I'll come and race if someone gives me a car .

I hope the series is'nt changed to Brokeback Racing Series, "When men were men, and goats were scared".

Hey Chas, I heard you requested for the announcer this weekend to come and announce the F2000 series...HOLY TOPEKA!!!

[KevinFirlein]

Just whisper sweet nothings in bob's ear ( or apparently Rand's by the way this thread is heading) Bob has an extra car and the series transporter is awful big.

[Michael Rand]

Don't be whispering in my ear, any of you, they [my ears] don't work so much any more after to many years of not wearing earplugs. Still don't, foolisly, but as the damage is done what the hell, and the dulcet tones of FF1600 motors spewing their innards on to the track with broken cranks certainly ain't whispering anyway....
Robert seems to quite enjoy people whispering in his ears however.....
And Kevin knows more about whispering in ears than most, doesn't he Rob Nicholas ?
Interesting how the perception is that the F2000 series is Rands' when I am only the visible part of the triumvirate of Guibord Jr, Rand, Wright [GRW Racing Enterprises LLC dba F2000 Championship Series].

[John Robinson II]

Rand,
Your proctologist called and said the cure for the goat thing is the sound of FF1600 motors running in the new series... the time is right and the goats are scared.

[jim morgan]

John
After the video of you violating a 1992 Van Diemen at the runoffs, you might want to be careful commenting on goat abuse. But then again in farm country maybe a man and his animals is the same as a man and his machine.

Cole, it might be time to show the world the real JR

[Mike Allison]

Mikey, Ignore all those jealous creatures.

You know we only have eyes for EWE.

Love,

Mary

[Mike Allison]

You know, Mike, havin' an FF champeenship under your banner would certainly be a natural. If they could get as much track time as your current group, it'd be great and I'm sure you'd attract the necessary numbers to make it work financially.

Mike

[Scott Gesford]

Dude that's freakin hilarious.

After your IT job gets outsourced to India for $10/day you can become a satirical writer for Formula Car mag.

Why would I wanna write for that 'On Track' wannabee.

Satire? With my background in hardhitting news reporting, how could you suggest satire?

[stonebridge20]

Milk just shot out of my nose and I'm NOT drinking milk!

Agnif

[Lee Racing 8]

Glass houses John, GLass houses. John and a 92' Van Diemen sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g...

[John Robinson II]

Cole, Go ahead and post the video. Then everyone can see the level of dedication. Plus I will agree it was pretty damn funny. After the HOLY TOPEKA experience everyone needs a good laugh.

[Michael Rand]

Agnif and milk, now I'm laughing !

[Brian]

Anyone who posts 'proctologist" and "in on it" in the same sentence must have been in on it themselves...Wait a minute, I just did that and I wan't even in Kansas...never mind...

Brian

I'm so confused...

[Alan R Guibord]

MIke,
I have a problem at my new house. The donkey and sheep from the farm down the road keep comming into my yard. I thought you might want to swap to sheep. I hear they are easier than goats. I am open to any thoughts you might have to help solve the problem
Thanks
AL G sr

[Rob Howden]

Why would I wanna write for that 'On Track' wannabee.

Duh...ugh...gotta pick myself up off the floor. Could someone help pull this dagger out of my back?



RH - FCM

[Frank C]

These East Coast guys really are wimps. They apparently have been out to Kansas, where there are lots of pretty cattle, and all they can talk about are sheep and goats!
- Frank C

[Michael Rand]

Rob, pay no heed to the wannabe race driver S Gesford, the voices often take over but mean no harm......
Algae Sr, goats, sheep, yaks, llamas, wolverines, fishers, minks [that's for our Newfie friends], whatever ya got, bring 'em on bud.
They all cook up delicious......

[jim morgan]

Rob,
Dagger out.
Thanks for covering the event.
Do I send the bill for youth counseling to you or Craig Alhead.
He was so well behaved before he met you guys and the ST. Clair bunch.

[stonebridge20]

Agnif and milk, now I'm laughing !

I only like goat milk. I can't stand sheep milk because the damn wool gets stuck in my teeth!

Agnif

[Peter Olivola]

Now I know where he gets his twisted sense of humor.

He was so well behaved before he met you guys and the ST. Clair bunch.

[JByers]

Wow, the F2000 series is looking like it will have a whole new format next year. Entry fees paid in live-stock and the champion will receive a lifetime membership at their favoite petting zoo. I suspect that Mike and Bob will be spending the winter learing to become goat whispers and training them to become the grid workers. Expect the series trailer to look like Noahs Arch next year.
Jim and Peter, We try to influence them at a young age, while they are easy to corrupt. Cole on the other hand requried no influencing. He was well versed in the St Clair ways the first time he showed up under our tent.

[Peter Olivola]

And your son starts in FF when? I can't wait...

Jim and Peter, We try to influence them at a young age, while they are easy to corrupt. Cole on the other hand requried no influencing. He was well versed in the St Clair ways the first time he showed up under our tent.

[Bob Wright]

Mike Rand Quote-"Interesting how the perception is that the F2000 series is Rands' when I am only the visible part of the triumvirate of Guibord Jr, Rand, Wright [GRW Racing Enterprises LLC dba F2000 Championship Series].

GRW really means Goat Ra*ing Wildman